Back To The Mess

It has been 4 days now, I am back to the familiar messy territory of chaos of work. Things are not the same anymore, it hasn't been the same since a few months back. Low morality, depression, lack of initiative, spontanity and drive. Not me, most of the people. Too much tension, lack of communication, understanding, empathy has driven many to the dark side. The dark side is full of resentment, questions that are left unanswered. People are sick and tired of being accused, taken as scapegoat. They are weary of the finger-pointing, fault-pushing, never-dare-to-admit one's-fault attitude. They do not want to be caught in such a vindictive web full of falsity.

A full fledged stoog of the lowlife behaviour. Nothing bad that I have done but sacrificed as an immolation. I felt my conscious being raped and dehuminized, literally in a way that I am being taken for granted. Once driven with passion, now driven with anger and skepticism. From zealous to zero, I am drained of gusto. I still love what I do but barely hanging there as I know my spirit is too weak to hold on any longer. I tried, but as hard as I try, as much as I struggle, it never seemed to be enough. I will never be good enough in his biased world. But I am not seeking acknowledgement or praises as integrity is important that's why I am helping to seek enlightment for his blindness but frutile as he is too dogmatic.

I flinch at the thought of his foolishness, his stupidity, his ego, his stuborness. A fawn that licks the wrong toes quite often, the center of others' jokes. A selfish, self-centered brat that believes he is what the the world is made up of. His hideous character pushes most away from him despite showing how nice he can be is not enough to cover up his flaws.

His reputation in bad judgement got us cracking. We do not question as it's clearly shows how "wise" he is. A figure of pity, I sympathise but without emotion his lack of movement in life. Stucked in the past, still glorifying former achievements that amount to nothing now. Instead of evolving, he's stucked in the mud from the hole he dug.

How can anybody be so uncomprehending, sensing the head-on danger knowing it's collision ahead, yet insist on speeding with full speed. It's pure stupidity that even the highest and most in depth of medical science cannot help cos "STUPIDITY CANNOT BE CURED"!