Life Stability

When I was younger, I never thought much about settling down, getting married, starting a family etc. I won't say that young, probably the last time I had such thought was about 2 years ago. I think it all boiled down to lousy choice in men and not loving myself enough.

Between my late teens and early 20's, all I wanted was FUN FUN FUN and never thought seriously about my future as in marriage etc. I was young so what's wrong with indulging in a little bit of fooling around till I meet the perfect choice?? The fooling around period lead me to a long term relationship which I do not regret but woke me up. The wake up didn't come earlier and I guessed it has been a lesson well learned.

During the 6 years, I gave my all to another whom I thought will do the same for me but I was so wrong. Love became a burden as I started realising he has many issues in life that he needs to sort it out. I was willing to be there & in fact was there the whole time encouraging him but he wasn't willing to face it. I did not give up on him, I carried on. In between these years, many things happened and we drifted to and fro back to each other without me realising that I was only a comfort zone for shelter for him and for myself, a wishful thought that he'll turn out for the better each time I take him back.

The breaking point for me was by the 5th year I really had enough, totally drained. I couldn't really care more about his feelings because he never cared for mine. Love turned into sorrow, no hatred, just sadness at the end of the day. I told myself that I will always remember to have more self love but it was tough cos I was already jaded and torn into pieces deep inside. I didn't know how to start all over and for the next 3 years I was in a real mess.

However, I was sent an angel almost immediately after the breakup. He's sweet, beautiful, kind, caring, sensitive and loving. I was a wreck but yet he was there, all the way. He lets me know constantly that he'll never give up on me and he shows it.

More than 3 years later, we are together now. He made me find the light at the end of the darkness, and he walked me thru' all darkness, holding my hands ever so carefully not to let me fall. He shows me what is true love and faith and installed it back into my fragile soul. He picked up my broken heart and painstankingly and put it back into place. for me. He taught me how to love myself and later love him. The fortress that I build over the years to prevent from getting hurt are diminishing from his love.

Things are good now but we'll never take it for granted knowing how far we took just to get together. We are clear about our future, how we want to live our lives together and how we want to built a life around it. No men so far has given me a clearer vision of my future. I know that he is giving as much as I am for this relationship and this is what I would call a balanced and healthy love.

Happiness is always around you, it's entirely up to you to recognise where it's coming from. Now that I've found my long term happiness, I will not pursue any short term happiness from the blindness of my own selfish act. Start looking around, keep a positive mind :)

Money Not Enough Vs Money Enough

The financial crisis has put a sudden halt to many rich people's plan of buying more riches. The are no longer buying houses that cost $1.5million, they need to downgrade to a $1million house instead. They can no longer drive a Lamborgine, they need to trade in now for a smaller horsepower Mercedes SLK. Life really suck for these rich people huh?? Sad *sob..sob*

How about people like us?? Our salary never goes vertical yet everything in our daily lives kept going up. For some, taking taxi is considered a luxury and yet they have never taken 1 before. Living in a 20-30 year old flat is already a blessing as long as there's a roof over their head. Even a fare hike of 5 cents means alot on the long run and a plate of chicken rice if over $3 is considered expensive.

Such things are frustrating, especially for the middle income group people. You invest your lifetime onto a silver lining only for others to fucked it up. Before you see light at the end of the tunnel, it gets dimmer.

They say tomorrow will be better...I really beg to differ. So what's next because I don't think it will ever benefit people like us.

Love , Trust & Happiness - FOREWORDS

LOVE

4 letter word which is very overated. Used to often verbally but not too often thru' actions. It is a feeling, an emotion when you feel an attachment towards a person/object that you want to protect. It is an emotion that is indescrible with words. Love is a magical feeling when you allow yourself to be loved, receive love and give love without any expectation. You can only feel love when you know how to love yourself because it will be love with no strings attached. It is not selfish nor is it hurtful. It should be warm, safe and welcoming. It should nurture and grow, bringing people closer than before.

TRUST

Is not something to be broken or made a mockery out of it just because. It is a circle of faith where you can let your guards down. It takes a lifetime to build but a second to destroy. To be trusted, you have to trust. To trust, you have to be truthful especially to yourself. Trust can make or break a person cos nothing hurts most when you know the person you have been truthful has not been doing the same for you. But if you have lost your trust before, do not bear grudges and move on because life is cruel. Just remember to continue to trust as it will make you a much stronger and better person.

HAPPINESS

It lies in your own hands, in decision you make. Nobody can tell you what to do with your life cos only you know what you need to make you happy. Happiness comes from within, where you have found a connection between life and inner peace. No amount of money can buy you happiness forever and most of the time it's people with money that are the saddest because their life is too occupied with buying happiness that they forgot how to pursue true spiritual happiness.

Rich Vs Poor

Singaporeans are getting pathetic, so damn pathetic! The rich are simplying bullying the poor and they are not from Singapore, they are some desperate souls from much poorer countries seeking riches or rather enough to feed their family back home.

I am so disgusted with the Serangoon residents, so what if they are rich, living in big house, driving porch cars, have maids cleaning up after them? They are nothing but just a morons with money stuck to their eyes. They are so condesending and void of human feelings. So what if they are foreign labours, they are human too and all they want is a roof over their head and that roof happens to be a vacant within their vinicity. Is that wrong with someone only wanting a place to go back to after a hard day's work with no family by their side only to be looked down by their neighbours?? This makes me sick to the core!!!

Bear in mind that some of these people do have degrees but it's impossible to even earn enough as graduates so they have no choice but to come to a foreign land to work as blue collar workers. Is that shameful? No, in fact we should give them a toast cos it is not easy to leave your family behind not knowing when is the next or last time you will see them again. Can you imagine being alone in a place and yet being despised cos you are working as a constructor worker, odd job labour etc? These are things that many Singaporeans will never get a taste cos we are lucky that we are Singaporeans and we have a Government who's trying to banish proverty. However to some Singaporeans who are not so lucky will totally understand where I am going.

These rich stuck-up tyrants will never want to sympatise with what these foreign workers are going thru'. Yes, there were and are still some black sheeps around but simply putting all of them down is unfair. You have the right to be concern for your own safety or for your family but that doesn't give you the right to take away their "home". I think instead of chasing them away without voicing your fear, they will never understand. I think bringing down your property prices is just an excuse and your fear is more than that and why not just have a heart to heart meeting with these people to let them know? There's always other ways to resolve matter than to resort to such ruthless methods.

Personally I do have certain fear with them because of some incidents reported in the news but some that I have come across isn't that bad after all. They are human and know how to treat others with respect if you treat them with respect as well. What goes around comes around and do not need a rocket scientist to comprehend.

I do agree that the rich has all the money in the world to buy them happiness, knowledge and education but money can never buy you a sympathetic heart, a loving soul and an open mind.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

Yesterday was the eve of Hari Raya which is also the last day of Ramadan fasting for all the Muslims worldwide. Another time of the year for reflection.

We are very lucky in Singapore as we are a multi-culture country so we get to enjoy these holidays as well. The upcoming will be Deepavali which is at the end of October for our Indian counterparts.

It was just another day which felt like a weekend. Celebrated a friend's birthday at Helipad, went back to office to pick up my wallet as Miss Muddleheaded me did it again. Decided to head to zouk since we know the DJ was decent and was only 5 min from the office.

Got back at 5pm due to some rescue mission.

Another day, another holiday in Singapore.